Christmas Cookies – Day 6

Start Time: 11:30 am

Stop Time: 1:20 am

Goal: 21 types of cookies, packaged, wrapped & ready to deliver on Tuesday 12/17. And one Godzilla themed, gluten-free (among other things) birthday cake to deliver on 12/14.

Completed:   Pecan Sandies (4x), Coffee Sugar (4x), Snickerdoodles (5x), Vanilla Sugar (6x), Coconut cutouts (4x), Mint Chip (4x)

The making is finally over. Finally. All that’s left to do is box them up. I started making boxes tonight, got about 11 done then decided my time was better spent cleaning up and clearing space on the tables and putting baking supplies away.

I packed up all my cutters, colors, glitters and dusts and managed to right the mess in my baking cupboard. It feels so good to put stuff away. like the end is really here. For the first time that I can recall, I’m really done with doing this, and I am relieved to be through it.

Had a great conversation with McIrish today. Since he was off, it was just the two of us in the house, working and watching TV. It was really nice to have some quiet time, just the two of us. We talked about my thoughts, that I may be done with cookie time, at least in this big production way that it’s been happening. He had a great point. What’s different this year is ME. I have been changing and self-evaluating and it’s true– I just crave balance and calm these days. That’s not cookie time.

So I think this is official. This is my last year doing the quantity of boxes that I have been doing. Cookie madness is not going to be madness anymore. I want to do less, and in doing less, I can do more quality for those who are close to me. I’m really good with this decision, but at the same time, I’m a little sad too. More tired than sad, but still a little wistful.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop baking completely, but I always told myself that if it ever stopped being fun, I’d re-evaluate and seriously consider not doing it anymore. It hasn’t stopped being fun completely– I LOVE the decorating and flooding part– but I just need to do a lot less so it goes back to pure enjoyment again. This is something I am really sure about.

It’s the last day of cookie time 2019. I did 6 less this year – only 17 types are in my boxes for a change. First time it’s been less than twenty in a long while. And I completely missed my self-proclaimed deadline to have them boxed and ready to go. They might even get mailed a little late too. We’ll see. I just need sleep, because tomorrow I need to go back to the real world, my job and responsibilities.

I’ve also got to take Miji to the vet in the morning. We discovered a big ol’ hot spot under her butt today and she’s licked it real good. So gross. I’m thankful I have a great boss who trusts me and allows me flexibility to work from home when I need to. I’m tired and need to sleep in a bit tomorrow, and thankfully the vet can see Miji in the morning.

Cookie time has been harder than usual, but I don’t regret a second of it. It is always such a fulfilling time and I do truly enjoy it. If I’m begin honest, I think I knew this day was coming for a few years now. This madness started way back when, while I was still in high school and then college and I had no money to buy all my family members gifts. So I made them a few kinds of cookies, in goodie bags. It’s where this all began.

I’ve come a long way since those days. I remember my tiny apartment kitchen in San Francisco, then the one in Daly City– no counter space, one oven, a few pans. When we moved to Pacifica, I thought, “Well, this is a huge kitchen! Imagine what you can do at cookie time in this house!”

I have no idea how I churned out the quantity I did in those kitchens. But I did. I graduated from cellophane goodie bags full of cookies, to shirt boxes lined with parchment to keep the cookie grease from ruining the packaging. I remember when I first decided to buy the brown pasty boxes and brand my efforts….and then the sealer, when this became a legit production where each cookie was bagged and sealed individually before going into a box.

This has been a real journey, of epic proportions and no matter what, I have loved every moment of it. But it’s time to enter the next phase. I’m not yet sure what that will be, and we’ll see what happens this time next year when I get the itch to be knee deep in dough for a week. Maybe I’ll go on a warm, tropical vacation instead, LOL. I just don’t know. Any for perhaps the first time in my life, I am totally OK with not knowing and not committing to anything now.

Once the boxes are packed, delivered or shipped, and the house goes back to normal, I’m not sure what I’ll feel. Will I be sad? Relieved? Happy? All I know it that right now, I’m sleepy and I can’t wait to turn in. I’ve got one more post to do tomorrow, and it’s about the theme this year. A theme that is somehow very fitting as being the final theme of my last cookie madness of this magnitude.

Time for bed and dog snuggles. Well, not Miji…she’s got a wet piece of pepperoni on her butt so she’s got to sleep in a shirt on the couch tonight. Poor pup.

Tomorrow is another day. And a chance for something new. G’night!

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